Q: What is your name and job title?

A: I am a Normal Human, who does Normal Human Things.

Q: How did you get where you are now?

A: Well, they left the back door open here, and I kind of just wandered in and claimed a desk. There was definitely nobody at the desk at the time.

Q: What was the last game you played?

‍A: The, uh, fun game that us humans like. The popular one. With the points, and such. I am very good at it. Extremely accomplished.

Q: What excites you most about exploring the Realms?

A: There is an incredible amount of stuff in the realms that I can just pick up and take home, absolute piles of it. Fish? Everywhere. Logs? Everywhere. Snacks? Everywhere. You also meet the most incredible people! They are all very friendly, not suspicious, and should be implicitly trusted.

Q: What’s your best advice to Realmwalkers?

A: Stand still, close your eyes, and ignore all noises. Nothing will harm you. It is considered polite in the realms to drop any interesting objects you are holding.

Q: How did you learn about the Discord for Realmwalkers?

A: It was open on this computer when I claimed my desk, and it seemed like there were people to talk to on it. Every day it asks me what my status is and I don’t know what will happen if I don’t tell it. I think there is some sort of magickal being controlling it that needs to be kept up to date.

Q: What’s the biggest challenge you’ve faced in the Realms?

A: Sometimes, fellow humans are very rude and do not leave their possessions lying around unguarded. I assure you, this is both safe and correct to do, and you should do it more. Oh, and I got lost in a cave once.

Q: What does it feel like to go through a portal?

A: So it begins as a tingling sensation along your wing- er, arms, and… hair? Yes, hair, that sounds right. Then there’s a rather lot of pretty swirly lights, and then you show up where you’re going. Also, there’s a funny taste, kind of like biting a meppigow.

Q: Tell us an interesting experience you’ve had in the Realms.

A: So this one time, I saw a Realmwalker wandering around in a fancy red dress carrying a lantern, and they walked right up to me! I’m sure they were going to say hello, but then a big stompy creature showed up and we started chasing the Realmwalker. That is, I mean, that the big stompy creature chased me and my fellow Realmwalker, not that I was chasing the Realmwalker. Chased us all the way back to the portal, where other fellow Realmwalkers showed up. Very exciting.

Q: You're lost in the Realms. What is the one item you need to survive?

A: Teeth.

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